There is hope and despair

So I've started counting down to KU and my wedding cos it's only 1.5 months away. There's quite a few things left undone or half done which I will address closer to the date. :x

This should be a happy time for me I guess cos I'll be embarking on a new life with the love of my life, but I have another loved one who is not well, and I really don't feel like celebrating our wedding. I mean, of course I still want to get married but in my fantasy wedding, I have every single member of my family with me, and now that fantasy seems rather far away.

My aunty has been in and out of the hospital for the past month and a half and her condition doesn't seem to be improving. On some days, reports on her condition are good, on other days, the reports leave much to be desired.

We went down to see her on Wednesday and her helper told us that she cried quite abit during the day. My aunty asked to see our wedding invitation and I showed her our church wedding invite. While holding it, she read out the words on the invite. The most heartwrenching part was when she started weeping and she told me, "I may not be able to see it." And it really did break my heart at that thought, cos honestly, part of me was afraid that it would be true. All we could do was comfort her, but our attempts sound hollow to me cos she's the one who is suffering the most, and who are we to say "No lah, you'll be fine?" But comforting words are all we can offer right now, no matter how feeble they sound. We can't even give her a hug like we used to, cos she's hooked up to machines and in pain most of the time.

So for now, we can only keep praying to God for mercy upon her. And to spend as much time as we can with her so that she knows that she's not alone - her family and friends love her. Very very much.